Stuck Between
This morning I learned that I have 8 Junkyard Symphony workshops confirmed for Dec and Jan, which is fabulous
because work has been coming in slowly this fall, hence my plan to pursue a side career as a school bus driver. But with this new addition of work, I could probably
scrape my way through the winter as a self employed entertainer, and not ruin my 30 year streak. Of course, these workshops are in the middle of the day and
won't inhibit my plan to become a bus driver if that is what I decide to do, so now I find myself stuck between the decision of ruining my streak but attaining
some level of financial stability, or keeping my dream going but living with unending uncertainty.
I have been posting my photos on Instagram, every day if I can remember to do it. The photo I posted yesterday
just happened to be 'Cross Over', the Featured Photo for this week, so one might say that I have come to an interesting cross roads. I always post a quote with
the Instagram photo, but not necessarily the same quote that I posted on my website. Sometimes I like to look up new quotes that go with the picture. The one I posted on
Instagram to go with 'Cross Over' was by Victoria Addino. "Always think extra hard before crossing over to a bad side, if you were weak enough to cross over,
you may not be strong enough to cross back."
I don't agree with Victoria's "bad side" comment. I think all sides are just sides. They are neither good or bad, they
are just different. But I must admit that the quote does have some merit. When you cross over to one side, you may not be able to cross back. I have been self
employed my entire life, and being self employed helps keep me self employed. I have gotten a lot of shows because I was available for those shows, and part of getting shows is doing shows, as one show promotes another. The more
shows I do, the more shows I will get. But if I cross over into a world where I may not be as available for shows as I used to be, the amount of shows I do
will be less, therefore the amount of shows I will get will be less. In other words, in a world where I am no longer fully self-employed,
I may not be able to cross back.
The Ottawa Senators, my favourite NHL team seem to be stuck between a rock and a hard place. They have lost most of
their games and find themselves last in the league, not where there were hoping to be at this point. The GM had declared at the start of the season that the rebuild was over
amd we all thought they would be well on their way to a playoff position. Clearly they are not. On a good note they won the last
two games, against two of the best teams in the league, Carolina and Colorado. So they are on a good new footing, a footing they achieved by sending their number
one starting goalie, Matt Murray down to the minors and allowing the backups to take over. Coincidentally, Murray lost his first minor league game, and his
replacement, Anton Forsberg, who has been playing great, has won two. Murray may find himself not being able to cross back over to the big leagues. Meanwhile, the team may have crossed over
a threshold, but of course they will now be stuck with the decision of trying to reach the playoffs, or staying at the bottom in order to get a good pick next
year. For my part, I hope they try to reach the playoffs. Watching a team tank their season is no fun for anyone, other than Matt Murray.
"Something there is that doesn't love a wall - that wants it down." This quote is by Robert Frost, and I
have to admit I am not entirely sure what it means, but I do have an interpretation. Walls keep us safe, but walls also keep us captive. Finding ourselves
stuck between safety and freedom is the never ending challenge. While we grow to love a wall that gives us security, we may also want that wall to come down
someday so we can escape and live life to the fullest. Perhaps the best advice I can think of is to build your walls strong,
but don't build them too high, just in case you want to cross over.
Story title by: John Aughey
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